[Reader-list] I am Insecure

[zamrooda]

Farmer by birth, civil servant by education, and a Muslim by religion.
An Indian man of 56 years, satisfied and contented with life.

Kashmir is his passion.

Evening of December 1992 jolts his senses. He sits by his television set numb 
watching the mosque being torn apart brick by brick. 

Bombay riots followed soon after.

Political situation in the country deteriorated. All that the politicians 
seemed to be interested only in `POWER.' This was not new. The only 
difference now was that earlier there was a sense of hiding or being 
conscious of keeping things under cover. This  scene of shame seemed to have 
vanished.

Yet somewhere the dream of democracy and secularism allowed this man to 
maintain his sanity. There were times when he wondered that was he the only 
one............ worried, scared, alone in this country ?

Life continued........

February 27th the dream was shattered.

The news of the burning of the train somewhere left a hollow feeling in his 
stomach. Sleep was not easy to come by.
His apprehensions were proved right. What followed and continues to follow 
shattered his life.

Farmer by birth, civil servant by education, and a Muslim by religion.
An Indian man of 56 years. Did it hold any meaning?

For the first time in life he senses insecurity .
Retirement is round the corner. Delhi is where life is for  
him....................

Delhi where in Delhi ?

The biggest question of his life is to find a house for himself. Where does 
he go. Which part of Delhi or for that matter India will be a safe haven for 
him ? Where will he be sure that he, his family and all that he has struggled 
for the last 56 years of his life will not be taken away in a matter of 5 
minutes.

Is there a place ?

Delhi could have been the answer, but for the happening of 2nd May 2002.
Morning dailies on the next day had pictures and report of traffic chaos on 
the outer ring road of Delhi for 3 hours due to which law students were not 
able to appear for their exam.

There was no previous intimidation of this rally. No one had expected such a 
large gathering.....(as reported). A gathering of 10,000 people (estimate) of 
the minority community was not big enough to be able to capture the notice of 
our media.  

Trying to reach her  destination 15 Km's away was a woman trapped in her car. 
The sight of  crowds on the street in traditional Muslim attire with chains, 
bottles, lathis.... in their hands ran her imagination wild. Shops by the 
street were closing. The roads of Darya Ganj which are impossible to cross at 
this hour were empty. Looking around her for some solace all that she could 
see was her own fear being reflected in the eyes of the strangers. 

Pictures of Gujarat loomed in her face.

The "helpless" policemen on the roads only increased her discomfort. She was 
able to maintain her sanity thanks to the cellular phone, with which she was 
able to maintain contact with her family.

By the evening the rally was over with no signs of it. Evening news had no 
mention of it. If it had not been a solitary picture of the rally in the 
morning dally she had almost convinced herself to believe that it was all a 
nightmare.

Is there a safe haven for the minority community anywhere in .................